All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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