i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize