I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize