I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
