I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
