ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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