I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
