She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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