Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
worst night to have a conscience
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
