Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i was born a porn star she said
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
