a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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