Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
