he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
