bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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