Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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