I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
