why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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