I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
