Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
