By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
