Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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