Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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