i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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