i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
