yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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