You're so nebulous sometimes
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize