We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
