I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
