I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
