First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
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