When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
