3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
