May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
