i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
