i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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