oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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