5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
