ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
