Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
