Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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