remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
