I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I smell stomach acid.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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