I want to have your abortion
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
