Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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