Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
