oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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