as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
