do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
