no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
