I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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