He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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