so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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