do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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