names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
