it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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