i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
