I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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