writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
