it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
