Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
