Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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