it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
