DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
