Me too!
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
