but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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