My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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