I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
